The whistle of a pressure cooker "fweet" "fweet", whining of her toddler, buzzing of the mobile phone "zzzzz" and grumpy mother in law who needs perfection in all house chores. This is a quick picture of a struggle list of our common housewife, who keeps on struggling to survive and adjust in her new environment and family.
This new family fancy her to arrange everything with consummate elegance and should have an impeccable knack for cooking, cleaning, training, children fostering or in short they want a complete and flawless package in a girl who is just in her early twenties.
As a woman, it should be innate in the gender to be a perfect role model as this specific individual has to bring up a nation.
But unfortunately, our families forget to tell her daughter about mental well being. They know about physical self care but they hardly know about mental self care.
Many girls right after tying a wed-lock forget their identity and they merge themselves with another person in order to gain approval and happiness.
They blur their state of happiness in the struggle of their daily routine. In this race, of keeping everyone happy they forget from where they belong to or what are their preferences?
And then another aspect adds into it. Guess what?
Husband starts ignoring the girl and danger bell rings, tring tring!! Girl gets insecure to the core and starts wondering that she isn't attractive anymore, since she is bearing extra pounds of burden on her. They merge their goals with their husbands and think they will live happily, since they have made their spouse, a first priority. People who do not love themselves, cannot pour love into others cup.
Its essential to be assertive when it comes to responsibilities and burden. Take only what you can take, otherwise state it clearly what you cannot endure.
Recently, got a case where the girl was doing all house chores, completing responsibility of her in-laws, wonderfully fostering children but she caught her husband red handed while cheating on her.
Here, I recommend these 7 pointers to newly married girls.
1. Do not jump into making babies instantly, right after your marriage.
2. Learn to be assertive where you can atleast Say "No" when you do not feel like doing anything.
3. Take responsibility which is not over burdening.
4. Accept the fact, marriage can be a failure and you do not have to suffer in that failed marriage with a cheater and exhausting workload.
5. Do not lose your identity and sacrifice your own goals, just for the sake of marriage.
6. Try to remain connected with your social circle .
7. Before getting into a relationship, learn to be emotionally independent which can save you from codependent relationship or emotional dependency.
Implementation is an essential part for acquiring desired results.
by
Hina Fatima